| (no subject) |
[Apr. 7th, 2005|05:06 pm] |
Come join this community! Its awesome!
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|08:44 pm] |
| [ | I am feeling |
| |  Its about time! | ] |
FINALLY~! After the bajillionth time... I got my pics to work! here they are kids!</p>
( Read more... ) |
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| There's light in the iddle of the tunnel!?!?!? |
[Mar. 20th, 2005|10:46 pm] |
| [ | I am feeling |
| |  chipper | ] |
Ok so. As of Sat... things are better with me and Rob.. its magical... don't ask wat happened... cuz I don't know either. Well. Me and Rob went out for awards and verry HOTTLY saluted Dan... now... DAYMMMM you shoulda seen it... soooooo hot. OMG and... I have FANS! The kiddies from Ustach love me! They sent out an airgram when we were going on. "Ustach loves the girl in the purple shirt!" Annie " That must be JACKIE!"(announcer=annie) and random guys in the crowd, "HI JACKIE!" Me "HI....!....?...!!!!!" haha good times good times. Drumline = 1st place... haha only ones in our division but Concert percussion took first too! AND THEY BEAT MO HI! YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!! we fully rocked sox there. Sweetness. laters... just a quickie today kids! hahah! |
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| Story of a sad girl (ME) |
[Mar. 18th, 2005|10:43 pm] |
| [ | I am feeling |
| |  depressed | ] |
So its been a while since I posted. (I just wrote a VERY long entry... silly me hit the refresh and lost it all so heres shot numero dos) Sadly, I do not have stories of good times and friendship to report to you all. But.... theres always DRUMLINE!... ummm no. Drumline = bad. Do you all remember the time of my depression days? Well, I do. I have been happy for so damn long... seems like... but now i'm slipping back down the sad path of depression. When I was in that stage fresh/soph year... this is how my life would be. I would lock myself in my room all summer... not eat, shower, or talk... i'd just cry. Yes I admit... NO SHOWERING FOR LIKE A WEEK AT A TIME!... well you know I don't give a shit thats the way it was and yeah. I was very sick. I used to do a litttttttle bit of the cutting thing but I was never too big on that thing... it was just something to do when I was bored. (8th grade was a diff. story) If you have noticed that i've been missing from school ALOT lately... well thats why. Depression. Shall I spell it out to you? Is that not a cue that something is wrong? When I come to school one day and said yeah I slept till 2 PM and then am missing again the next day!? Well yes... things aren't going so well right now and there is something wrong. The thing that makes me most happy in life is now ruining me. I feel so alone when i'm at drumline. Like everyone has thier own lil group or pair thing going on and somehow I missed the memo on the day we decided that. I feel like I have no friends in the line anymore especailly because I lost another trio friendship. Me, Rob and Maddy. (Me, Josh and Tito was the other) I thought me Rob and Madd would be hecka tight and I thought they were sum of my best friends... wow... was I wrong. One day, the day of the Fresno show... Rob decided to like... hang out with Carolyn in the RV all day. Well... everyone else was like nowhere to be found and I was alone at the trailors all day watching perc ensemble. That day I had a episode where I couldn't hold myself up anymore (allergic reaction to my meds) and I almost beefed it at rehearsal B4 we went on. Well, you know I though some of my friends would stick with my to see if i'm ok... but no.. I guess thats the booster's job huh? So I felt VERY alone... hence I was... and thats when it started. Thats the Day Rob started pushing me away. I didn't think much of it till now. More and moe Rob started to push me and Maddy out of the picture... till like... we dont' even speak... At the JOHO show I cried... because I couldn't take it anymroe. I expected Rob to be more mature than Krum and not be a silent asshole. I just couldn't bare it ne more.. if its not a problem with Krum its Rob... if Maddy isn't sick.. someone else is. WTF? I just... *cries* can't take it anymore. WHY? FUCKING WHY? I miss Madd and Rob... I miss our lil trio... I really do. But... I don't think it will ever be again. Rob hates me... I don't know why... Maddy is kinda just... I dunno sick and not really there ne more.. Krum... is Krum... and i'm just alone. I love my friends to death and I would never intentionally do ne thing to bother them or anger them... I don't know why they just turn on me!? Everyone in the line... nobody really talks to me much ne more... i'm not asking to be the center of attention.. I just wanted to be treated with a little acknowledgement ya know? I want my things to be better... but I just don't care ne more... drumline shmumline... yada yada... Someone ALWAYS has to have a problem... *more tears* I don't know what to do... well you know what? Its my turn now bitches.
Eat shit.
Peace niggers. |
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| Good shit... 101 |
[Mar. 2nd, 2005|04:14 pm] |
| [ | I am feeling |
| |  homework... sucks | ] |
| [ | Im Listening to |
| | yeah.. Cajun Folk Songs 1.. again! | ] |
101 things about me
now you know 101 more stuff about mee... ABOUT ME:
[[ 1 > NAME: Jackie, McJackie, McJ
[[ 2 > BIRTHDAY: Aug.
[ 3 > HEIGHT: 5 ' 7
[[ 4 > SHOE SIZE: 9-91/2
[[ 5 > EYE COLOR: blue
[[ 6 > HAIR COLOR: blonde
[[ 7 > BEEN KISSED: yes
[[ 8 > DONE DRUGS: nah
[[ 9 > BEEN ON STAGE: I live there what do you think!??
[[ 10 > HAD SEX: heh.... uhm... no but there was this one time I had a 3sum... does that count? LOL (inside jk)
[[ 11 > BEEN DUMPED: yeah....
[[ 12 > GOTTEN INTO AN ACCIDENT: nope
[[ 13 > EATEN AN ENTIRE BOX OF SWEETSa.: no cept for the personal sized ones my mommie gets me for V day.... lol like... 5 pieces ppl!
[[ 14 > DYED YOUR HAIR: not ever allowed
[[ 15 > CHOKED INFRONT OF SOMEONE: everytime I drink something in public I choke... haha
[ 16 > WENT TO SCHOOL IN YOUR PJ'z: on pj day
[[ 17 > GOTTEN DETENTION: no hehehe losers
[[ 18 > LOVED SOMEONE SO MUCH THAT MADE YOUR CRY: omfg... yes
[[ 19 > DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW: yea
[[ 20 > DO THEY KNOW: uh... yes and no... theres more than 1!!!
[[ 21 > WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: PERSONALITY!-- Humor... omg have to be sick minded and funny like me! and uhm... caring, trustworthy, and yeah... you can't be a total dogg... so... looks are kinda important.
[[ 22 > COULD SEE YOURSELF MARRYING THAT SPECIAL PERSON: sorta...
PICK ONE:
[[ 23 > COLD // HOT: COLD... I mean... hottnes... u can only take off so much!
[[ 24 > BLACK // WHITE: black... it looks better on me
[[ 25 > RAIN // SNOW: rain... I fear snow
[[ 26 > GIVE // RECEIVE: give... recieving is nice... but giving is better
[[ 27 > WOOL // COTTON: COTTON OMG... cept for mi lettermen.. its hawt
[[ 28 > ROSE // DAISY: Rose!
[[ 29 > PRIVATE // PUBLIC SCHOOL: public... private schools are fucked up worse then public...
[[ 30 > PLAIN // CHOCOLATE MILK: hm.... choc I guess.... I like both
[[ 31 > HISTORY // SCIENCE: science... lol I suck at both
[[ 32 > MATH // ENGLISH: ENGLISH!!!!!! omg... Math... I AM HORRIBLE WITH!
[[ 33 > SPRING // FALL: fall, the air is cool and the trees are all pretty and stuffs.
[[ 34 > ROCK // COUNTRY: ROCK!!!!!
[[ 35 > PEPSI // COKE: Coke!!!!!!!!
[[ 36 > LOVE // LUST: Love ofcourse!
[[ 37 > EAT // SLEEP: SLEEEEEEEEEP
FRIENDS:
[[ 38 > WHO DO YOU SEE THE MOST: The Drumline... mostly Madd and Robbie
[[ 39 > WHO IS THE MOST ANNOYING: Justin LOL
[[ 40 > WHO DO YOU WISH TO SEE MORE OFTEN: Alyssa... my best friend who goes to downey
[[ 41 > WHO DO YOU E-MAIL THE MOST: Steven/Austin... lol I don't e mail ppl really... got nuttin to say but I don't call those cats much so I just e mail um
[[ 42 > WHO'S THE LOUDEST: ROB!!!!!! FETTICHINI!!!!!!!! sp?
[[ 43 > WHO'S THE SHYEST: Nicole
[[ 44 > WHO ARE YOU JEALOUS OF: Maddy, shes beautiful, smart, liked by all and has a wonderful boyfriend there for her always... oh... and IM HER FRIEND... thats the big one... Whew... w/o me... lol haha no... jk LUV YA
[[ 45 > WHO GOTS THE BEST ROOM: UHH........ Alyssa lol
[[ 46 > WHO'S THE HORNYEST: Yeah... Kenny
[[ 47 > WHO DO YOU TRUST THE MOST: Rob, Maddy, Squee, and Amanda
[[ 48 > WHO KNOWS YOU THE BEST: Alyssa... what are BEST friends for? lol
[[ 49 > WHO'S YOUR BEST FRIEND: Alyssa, Rob & Maddy
[[ 50 > WHO DID YOU HAVE A SERIOUS TALK WITH: Squee! LOL for like 2 hours!
[[ 51 > WHO GETS ALONG W/ YOUR PARENTS: everyone... cept my dad hates Charli... and my mom... but she's not really a friend.. LOL
[[ 52 > WHO HUGGED YOU THE MOST: Rob & McMaddy
[[ 53 > WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST: Alyssa.... but then Krum... I miss the Krum we had that one saturday.... it was amazing
[[ 54 > WHO FOUGHT W/ YOU THE MOST: Krum
[[ 55 > WHO ARGUE W/ YOU THE MOST: Krum
[[ 56 > FAVORITE FRIENDS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX: Rob and Squee and Steven
DO YOU LIKE TO:
[[ 57 > GIVE HUGS: yes it not only makes the other person feel better but it gives me a sence of security too.
[[ 58 > GIVE BACK RUBS: Yeah sure... if they don't pop a bonner... *cough* Kenny!
[[ 59 > TAKE WALKS IN THE RAIN IN: Yes
[[ 60 > WATCH TV: Whats that? Is that like a drum?
[[ 61 > GO TO THE BEACH: Haven't in a long time! Since my fresh year w/ Thissen @ Santa Cruz lol!!!!!!
[[ 62 > DO HOMEWORK: Ugh... thats what i'm supposed to be doing right now!
[[ 63 > PLAY IN THE SNOW: No.......
[[ 64 > WORK OUT: eh... times... times.... lol
[[ 65 > TALK ON THE PHONE: Heh yeah right... not ne more... y brother will never get off the internet for more than 5 min... if he does... he will unplug my phone line to get on the internet in the middle of a conversation!
[[ 66 > STAY UP ALL NIGHT TALKIN TO A FRIEND: lol if from like 11:30- 12:45 counts SQUEE!
[[ 67 > GO ONLINE: Yup
[[ 68 > BE KISSED: yup
[[ 69 > DO WEIRD // FREAKY THANGS: ofcourse!!!!! lol
[[ 70 > BE WILD: mostly!
WHICH ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS:
[[ 71 > IS MOST LIKELY TO BECOME A MODEL: Maddy... shes a nut in front of the camara!
[[ 72 > HAVE KNOWN YOU THE LONGEST: Alyssa
[[ 73 > DO YOU KNOW MOST BOUT: alyssa
HAVE YOU EVER:
[[ 74 > BEEN TO A CONCERT: Yeah!
[[ 75 > BEEN OUTTA STATE: yesh
[[ 76 > GONE SKINNY DIPPIN: heh yes....
[[ 77 > RAN ROUND NAKED: when I was like 5! and under lol
[[ 78 > BROKEN A BONE: No *knock on wood!*
[[ 79 > CHEATED ON A TEST: yup/ kinda
[[ 80 > RAN A MARATHON: LOL NO!!!!!
[[ 81 > MET A FAMOUS PERSON: Yeaya!
[[ 82 > BOUGHT SOMETHING AND SOLD IT: Sure... garage sale?
[[ 83 > STOLE FROM SOMEONE OR SOMEWHERE: from somewhere... lol and yeah.... i was a stupid kid ok!
[[ 84 > STALKED SOMEONE: Not my doings... been on a stalking adventure! well... MANY... Alyssa's sister stalks her gynocalugists!!!!!!!!!! and all other doctors... creepy... yes I know!
YOUR LOVE LIFE:
[[ 85 > SINGLE OR TAKEN: Single and dandy
[[ 86 > IF YOU WERE TO GO OUT W/ ANYONE, WHO: LOL! funny! nah thats definitely confidential!
[[ 87 > HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN ONLINE RELATIONSHIP: omg... yeah...
[[ 88 > BAD HABITS: Anger problems!!!!!
[[ 89 > MAKES YOU MADD: People deliberately ignoring me!
[[ 90 > SCARIEST MOMENTS: When it was raining and my brother got online at MJC and said I have to come get him and I had to go to practice then... and my parents were out of town! So I was driving in the rain and some ASSHOLE runs a red light and I almost hit him!!!!!
[[ 91 > WHERE ARE YOU: dinning area... where the comp is...
[[ 92 > ARE YOU WEARIN ANY JEWLERIES: a ring I never take off... a toe right I never take off and my earing in my 2nd holes I never take out! LOL
[[ 93 > LAST TIME YOU SHOWERED: Last night... i'm a night showerer
[[ 94 >WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR PANTS: Black w/ tiny ass lil silver pinstripes
[[ 95 > WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENIN TO RIGHT NOW: nada
[[ 96 > LAST THING YOU SAID: I AM DOING HOMEWORK!!!!! lol!
[[ 97 > COMPUTER DESK IS MADE OF: Metal
[[ 98 > LAST THING YOU ATE: salami nad swiss sandwich!
[[ 99 > WHAT YOU REALLY WANA DO RIGHT NOW: SLEEEEEEEEEEEP
[[ 100 > WHAT COLOR OF CRAYON WOULD YOU WANA BE: Black... cuz everyone needs a black crayon!
[[ 101 > IF YOU COULD CHOOSE TO LIVE W/ SOMEONE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WHO WOULD IT BE: Tito! I hecka <33333 him! and he's gay... thats makes it all the better!!!! |
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| Depression has flooded my gates way past hell. |
[Feb. 22nd, 2005|04:16 pm] |
| [ | I am feeling |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | Im Listening to |
| | Cajun Folk Songs I- the most beautiful sax solo song EVER... | ] |
It seems as if I'll post about this fantastic drum rehearsal.... then I post about how horrid it is... I mean... GODDAMN if it would just stay on the GOOD track... we used to have hope...
Well... I got a break from my "real life"... I got to see what it was like to be a happy for a while. Yeah i'm sad its gone... very sad... yeah... i'm depressed again... hello world... i'm back.
Heh at least I know how to do this... --X myspace http://profiles.myspace.com/users/18731957 |
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| This thingy... uh huh! |
[Feb. 16th, 2005|06:38 pm] |
| [ | I am feeling |
| |  so cool | ] |
| [ | Im Listening to |
| | I don't know the name lol 104.1... hehe | ] |
[01] Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
[02] I will then tell what song[s] remind me of you.
[03] Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise.
[04] Last, I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
[05] Put this in your journal! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|01:29 am] |
| [ | I am feeling |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | Im Listening to |
| | I can still her the drumline in my head... its a curse? | ] |
I feel so fucking awesome today!
Today was a great day. The bassline had a bonding experience today at McDonalds! lol I love them soooooooooo much!!!!! Yes, even Krum. IT was just soooo cute how we walked around holding eachother and being in step ALL DAY! It was hella fun! OMG and the pictures.... WHEW! Thems be HOTT! heheheeeheheheheeeeeeeee! So effing awesome... I love the end of the show too! SOOOOOO much fun. hehe... we have a bassline sleep over at the end! HAHA so comfy! Drumline is getting progressively better for me. I have more and more fun every day and I look foreward to it now. The bassline is becoming alot stronger then we were like a week or two ago and its feeling good. We aren't fighting anymore and have set leaders. Its like.... ALL GOOD!! :)!!!!! *knock on wood!*
But... there is always a price to pay... i'm up right now because i'm like.... in sooooooo much pain... i'm soooo exhausted... but I hurt to bad to sleep. I'm sooo uncomfortable. *cries* but i'm sooooooooo sleepy.... :( oy... I'm so dehydrated! I am like ALWAYS thirsy... is that weird? I gotta get a drink as soon as I update this damn thing....!
=O! hehe on another good note... tomorow I get to go SHOPPING!!!!!!!!! NEW SHOES.... EFFING SHOES! ... no more SANDALS! I GET SHOES! YESSSSSSSSSSSSS! hehe OH OH OH! AND..... IM CUTTING MY HAIR OFF!!!!! OFF I SAY OFF! ok... now i'm like going all psyco. The weird thing is though... when people type weird stuff like that... well me at least... I just sit here with a blank, droneish, stare and keep typing. Wow... i'm tired. I keep RAMBLING on and on and on..... o it just hit me... i'm out for the count. After I get a drink.
LOVE TO THE BASSLINE! |
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| My Saturday of SHIT... pure fucking chaos |
[Jan. 30th, 2005|09:36 pm] |
| [ | I am feeling |
| |  Fucking Drummers... | ] |
So heres my spin on things...
Drumline yesterday went like this:
11AM: Meet at goodwill to buy our hobo clothes... DAMN THAT WAS FUN!
12PM: Went to quizno's with Bubba and Squee and thier dads. That was cool. My sanwich was yummy too! Then I went to starbucks cuz it was next door. Came back to quiznos... then went back to Davis.
1PM: Practice slowly came into session. We drumed 8s split forever... then put 2s on it... people just really... like SUCKED at it... then we did double stops... and I couldn't believe something so easy still sucked that bad. Paul made us kiss the love shak 3 times and ofcourse... I was last to come in... I was hurting really bad... but I REFUSE to break down... I just wont... i'll die before I break down. But I do have a problem with crying... I can't control it... its hard to explain but if i'm crying... I can still go on ok... and I almost fell over and Paul told me I could sit down for a minuet but I don't want to hold anything back... I fucking refuse to... so he stood there with me while I played... and made us take a break... which I wasn't too happy about... so I sat down and cried... (crying right now... can't control it) When we went into sections Paul asked my if I was ok... and i'm like yeah (cried) when I run at someone else's pace... or at least try to not take all day... my lungs hurt so bad and my nose runs and I choke on my spit/snot... I don't know. so he said I could do something else instead of running... but... I don't want to be different...
2PM: Sectionals... sucked... we spent like a fucking hour on like 2 bars... I just can't believe that people cant play 6s that have been drumming for more than I when I can fucking do it. Pure lack of focus and care for ya... I was really bored durring that... I don't know what I can do to help though... like... all I can do is worry about my own job... if everyone just did so... then thing would be ok... but thats never gonna happen in this world...
3:15PM: Started the junk jam stuff... Stupid ass trashcan people couldn't retain things for more than like 2 minuetes... not to mention I am a trashcan person too... but I was on the metal can and my part wasn't on the paper to refresh my memory and nobody esle had my part... I was frustrated with myself but I think I have it now.
5PM: Dinner... well... not for me and Kenny. We got dressed and loaded up and went to our gig... That went really well! It was fun and stuff. Good experience. Although... I did spray crab on kenny... I feel SOO bad... I didn't mean to it just happens... :(
8:45PM: Run to the gym for a runthrough... HAHAHA that sure as fuck didn't happen. Things were all a mess and we didn't get anywhere. Then after rehearsal we got our "rehearsal ediquite" speach like always. I wasn't there for the last half... so I don't know what happened and why things are so horrible... i'm so hurt... and dissapointed in my friends. Why do people keep not only letting others down... but themselves? I don't know... i'm so clueless on what to do. I do my best. Thats not good enough I guess...
9:15PM: The floor fold... I was in my slacks still and I just can't mess them up... they were very expensive and I need them very often. so... I couldn't do much to fold the foor but I did all that I could. but you know... i'm fucking doomed... so what you don't know is that... when I squated to help... My pants Split completely... like... an 8 inch seam split.... and that just sent me over the edge... as soon as the last fold was there I just grabbed my drum and took off as fast as I could. I was going to flip out on someone. I'm sorry for snapping at you maddy, when u asked if you could show me something. but... I just didn't care last night. not at all.. I wanted to get in my car and go crash into a tree and die. I'm sorry if I'm such a dissapointment to any of you or don't appear to be working my ass off... but ... fuck you if you think such a thing. I'm just so hurt by all of you.
Goodbye. |
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| Drumline |
[Jan. 23rd, 2005|12:57 pm] |
| [ | I am feeling |
| |  the pain man.... | ] |
Drumline 1-9 yesterday....
Pain.
goodbye |
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| Stuff |
[Sep. 19th, 2004|09:10 pm] |
So yeah.
I haven't updated in forever! omg ... well I figure nobody really reads this and few of my friends do the live journal thing so I moved on to xanga. thats the happinin spot these days I guess. I haven't updated alot to my xanga either cuz Im so busy with BAND and homework. Band is pretty cool but I really don't want to type all about it. If u ppl still wanna know whats up with me go to www.xanga.com/SaxChick06
i'm out!
<3Jackie |
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| stuff is gooooood |
[Aug. 7th, 2004|07:25 am] |
| [ | I am feeling |
| | awake | ] |
My lj username color....
brokenwings06
Whats yours?
< font color=brokenwings06 >< b > brokenwings06< /b > (no spaces) |
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| Anonymous |
[Jul. 28th, 2004|09:15 pm] |
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Post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. Anything. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love, an opinion -- anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice or more if you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others whom you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say. |
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| Uh |
[Jul. 12th, 2004|10:02 pm] |
| [ | I am feeling |
| | okay | ] |
I took this mostly so my friends can steal it from my page...! aha well ok
yeah If u didn't take this quiz yet... and u wanted to... sorry I just didn't want it on my site ne more. lol |
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| 3 questions |
[Jul. 11th, 2004|02:37 am] |
| [ | I am feeling |
| |  curious | ] |
okay so everyone who reads this should ask me 3 questions; no more, no less. ask me anything you want. then if want you go to your journal, copy and paste this, and allow your friends to ask you anything. |
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| Been a while |
[Jul. 7th, 2004|11:15 pm] |
| [ | I am feeling |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | Im Listening to |
| | The Rasmus-- Funeral song | ] |
Hey
Yeah its been a while since I have actually written something in my journal. I know you all are probably really sick of all the stupid quiz crap and stuff. Well I have been up to exploring the interesting LJ world... and I know its sounds really stupid... but I am started to get more serious with my music and I am in two communities for band Geeks LOL and one called Woodwinds... Well today I started my own community called bandgeeks_rock... please join... well if u want i'm not forcing you to lol. It is alot of fun in communities I have come to find. In my user info I have added a weather pixie, hug counter, (c all the hugs band geeks gave me) and a visitor counter. well Go check out my new stuffs if ya realled bored off your ass. Yup yup... well I like my new User Icon! Umm I really need help with making my journal look how I want... I just don't know how these damn ppl do it. So If you are good with this crap HELP ME LOL! I really miss all my friends... :( so call me sometime guys I really need to get outta this state of depression... I am so damn depressed these days... I don't get up outta bed til 2 pm and I sit in front of the computer or float in the pool all day... not my kinda life... and since I don't go ne where... I don't get dressed... don't do my hair... nothin... just a endless nightmare I can't wake up from. Somebody snap me outta it?????...? please?
well... you know... if you are ever awake in the middle of the night with nothing to do... call my Cell.. i'm an insomniac! *sobs* why can't I be happy? |
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